I never thought I would hear myself say these words, let alone type them for posterity, however, here they are:
"I am going to cry if I see another piece of junk food."
Just the sight of all those bags of chips and candies sitting on my dining room table is enough to set my stomach on a private roller-coaster ride.
I am actually a little disappointed in myself because I love candy. I even have a well-known list of favorites. Cotton candy and black jelly beans top my sweet list and sour cream and onion chips top my salty list. I actually have longer lists but I don't think you need the comprehensive overview right now.
And do not confuse these items with properly made desserts. I also have a list of favorites there as well but we aren't talking about desserts today; we are talking about junk food.
Every week it takes all the self-control I can muster to walk past the jelly beans and the chips in the grocery store. The funny thing is that a junk-food item that is not on my highly-desirable list, doesn't even temp me. Not even a little bit. I like what I like and I am not interested in trying new things.
In grad school there was a little store that used to sell potato chips individually coated in chocolate. I used to go there once a week. Most days I only had time for my mushroom pizza and diet coke because the year I began grad school was the same year that MTV went on the air and my friends and I spent most lunch hours sitting in local bars watching MTV. I know I have just dated myself but I know that at least a few of you remember that same period of time. I cannot help but say: "those we the days."
They were also the days when I actually could eat junk food and not suffer any repercussions such as weight gain or the general feelings of malaise that now follow that sort of eating. I used to feel bad about that but after a day like yesterday I feel strangely repelled by all my old favorites.
I see my kids eating all that candy that their friends and mine delivered yesterday as part of the Purim obligation to give sweets. (I sent donation cards instead. You can't eat them but you feel physically better and someone less fortunate ate better as well as a result.) They can't get enough of it. I am just calculating the dental bills and waiting for the midnight "I have a stomach-ache" visits to begin.
I made my kids all agree to give away half their candy today. They were not amused but why should we get all the cavities? We should share that fun with others.
I guess Purim and candy are a right of passage but I have already made notes in my Microsoft Outlook for next Purim. I wanted to do it while I was feeling that ridiculously crappy, bloated feeling because the truth is, in a few days, I should be good to go again.
Bring on the Jelly Bellies!
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