I
am cold. It is nine degrees celcius here right now and it has been raining for
several days and I am chilled to the bone. And if one more person, upon hearing
how cold I feel, says to me "but your Canadian", I am going to punch
them in the face. I know I am Canadian, I renewed my passport last week at the
Canadian Embassy. That was a dead giveaway.
So
consider yourselves warned.
Israel
is experiencing below seasonal temperatures. This isn't particularly newsworthy
because the entire world seems to be in temperature flux these days. What is interesting
are the weather-related observations.
1.
As I have mentioned many times on these electronic pages, buildings in
Israel are built with cement blocks and there is no insulation added. Why? It
seems so obvious to me, the non-builder. When I Googled "sheets of insulation
for sale" I got more than three million options. I am sure we could have
lots of it shipped here. And if we made a bulk order for the entire country, I
am pretty sure we could get a good deal.
(Ken Nichols Insulation in Sullivan, IL, is offering excellent discount prices.)
2. Saying
you are sick and tired of the rain in Israel is pretty much the same as saying
you are sick and tired of your grandmother (as you set her out to sea on an ice
floe). Try saying that in Israeli company and let me know if you live to see
tomorrow. Israel needs rain; well, the Kinneret (Sea of Galilee) in particular
needs rain. And since rain is considered a blessing from God in these parts, one
has to be out of one's mind to complain publicly about it. Ever. That said, I
would like to know why the Almighty can't improve His aim and send the water
where it needs to go?
3.
One of my friends here is from the Canadian Midwest. He likes to tell me every
few years how not cold it is here. He knows cold and this isn't it. He tells me
that he doesn't even wear a jacket in the winter when he is in Israel (I don't
believe him but I don't have time to stalk him and catch him in the act of
jacket wearing). Of course, he spends a
lot of time in the Northeastern United States which means that, relatively
speaking, he is right. His body's temperature memory is still operational. Mine
is not. I live here more consistently than he does. Nine celcius is the new
minus 30 for me.
4. Why
does my country of birth have any bearing on how cold I feel? No one questions
the people from Detroit. Or Chicago. Or Cleveland. It is definitely as cold or
colder in those places as it is in Toronto. And what does the place I come from15
years ago have to do with me being cold today? And does that mean that everyone
who survived a week of deep winter skiing should be able to tolerate cold?
Don't you think that being away from the real cold for 15 years would allow
your body to forget? For Heaven's sake, this isn't riding a bicycle.
5.
It is often warmer outside your home than inside. Seriously. Sometimes in the
winter, I go outside in search of the noonday sun and even if that means
sitting on a curb with my lunch in hand, and playing stupid games on my phone
for 20 minutes, I do it. I once took the newspaper and sat in my car while the
sun was beating directly onto the front windshield. When my neighbour spotted
me and asked me what I was doing, I told him I was having quiet time in my auxiliary
den. Unfortunately, in this past week, the sun took a vacation in Ethiopia and
my auxiliary living space is unoccupied.
Now it is bedtime and it is time to head to my cryogenic-lab-temperature-approved bedroom. If I survive until the morning I am definitely going to contact Ken Nicols.