A quickie tip: A sure fire way to find your children

Let me start by saying that this only works with pre-teen children -- or at least I sincerely hope so.

I can stand in my kitchen for an hour calling people's names. I can walk up the stairs and continue to call out to my kids. No one ever answers me. I can threaten. I can offer rewards. I have tried all of these tactics. None of them work. We don't live in such a big house that the kids can insist that they didn't hear me.

But I have found one thing that never fails. It is the foolproof way to round up your children when they are in the house but completely inaccessible. All you need is one bathroom. One toilet. And for your own sake, one clouded-glass shower.

Here's what you do. GO INTO the bathroom. Get undressed to take a shower or sit on the toilet. Either approach will work. I can promise you that within 30 seconds of you being completely unavailable your kids will find you.

And if your kids are anything like my kids, they are not deterred by a closed door or silence from my end. No siree. When they want me, they will move heaven and earth to find me. There is no door strong enough to keep them out.

So now, I have turned this knowledge to my advantage. I always start by simply calling their names, but when that doesn't work, I just say to myself: "Hey, I could really use a shower." And by the time I am undressed and in the shower (hence the need for clouded glass), at least one of them will come barging into the bathroom with his or her most recent catastrophe.

Try it. I guarantee success. It has never failed me yet.