My nine-year-old daughter Yael thinks I am famous because she saw a video clip of me and my friend Nina, and our YouTube pregnancy show (www.thepregnancyshow.com).
You are probably wondering why I had a pregnancy show. It's not like I am a real Go-To person for pregnancy advice. In a neighbourhood where people figure you must have had conception issues if you have less than five children, there are much more expert mothers available.
The truth is that Nina and I have a mutual friend who owns a pregnancy website and we made the series of videos in his backyard about two years ago. They were all ad-libbed (which I think is pretty obvious). His theory was that if you have had a few babies here and there, and if they are still alive as a result of your attentive care, then you can discuss this topic. In all fairness, Nina has six kids, so she was more of a shoe-in. I just have a big mouth and an opinion on everything – that's what got me the gig.
We had a lot of fun making the videos – as it turns out, some people who follow the pregnancy website have had wild experiences. Truly the kinds of things that would never cross my mind. Here's one beaute: a guy and his girlfriend have sex. He uses a condom. After sex he goes to the washroom. When he comes back he finds the girlfriend trying to insert the contents of the used condom into places that would potentially result in her getting pregnant (how's that for wording diplomacy?). So now the guy's question is: Can she get pregnant?
My question is why on earth would you have sex with a woman who only wants you for your discarded condom? And what IF she DID get pregnant? Are you financially and emotionally committed to someone who scrounges for condom refuse?
I don't think that questions like that need answers beyond: Run for your life bucko.
When the videos first aired all my friends watched them. My parents even showed them to their friends at a party they were hosting. We were a big success among the people who know us and love us. And that was probably the bulk of our viewing audience. Of course, there were a few innocent stragglers who stumbled across our path -- thank you whoever you were.
Back to my daughter. She wants to know if I am famous. Yes, Yael, I was famous for about 15 seconds among the 2000 or so people who watched the videos for whatever reasons a few years ago. I hope that the truth doesn't burst her balloon too badly.
I think I will go write out some autographs in case I need them later.
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