So much for my kind words about Israel

I think it must have been the hand of God reminding me not to let things go to my head. And what a reminder it was. A few days ago, I was extolling the virtues of Israel, and then today -- bang -- I am reminded of the things that bug me most about this country.

I just called Bank HaPoalim to get some help with my internet banking access codes. I have no idea why I am having problems with them but it doesn't matter. What matters is that I cannot access my bank account on the internet so I did what any normal person would do at that moment.... I called the bank's helpline.

I guess I should have been suspicious from the very beginning because the whole concept of customer service was neither created in Israel nor has it truly arrived here. Israelis don't believe in customer service. They are more tachlis (English translation: bottom line) than that. I think they view customer service as a support tool for woosies.

Here's what happened: I called the helpline to get ... help. The fellow who answered asked me a few questions in hebrew and I answered them. But when we got to the discussion about my issue, I asked him in hebrew if we could please switch to English. (side note: I learned the hard way the first year we lived here -- after I transfered 20,000 nis to someone else's account) that I should not bank in hebrew. In fact, according to Chaim I should not do anything with serious or official implications in hebrew because I make too many mistakes.)

This is the part that just kills me. The Customer Service guy on the other end of the phone says to me -- in very clean English: "We do not work in English and I can only do this with you in Hebrew." Then he proceeds to ask me a few more hebrew questions. I continue to say in hebrew: "it's not important and I don't want to continue," but he doesn't listen. I tell him again -- in Hebrew -- that I don't want to continue in Hebrew and when he ignores me I just say thanks (because I am still a Canadian and I can't help myself) and hang up.

Now dont' bother writing to me to tell me that I live in Israel and I should speak Hebrew. I do speak Hebrew in a variety of situations every day. I do not speak it with any finesse whatsoever, but I do speak the official language of the country on a matter of principal. I am sure that the father of modern Hebrew, Eliezer Ben Yehuda, just rolls over in his grave every time I spout out a brutally structured sentence, but at least I try.

However, when it comes to things like money, insurance, health and the likes, I need to understand each and every little detail and therefore, I have to switch to English. Sue me.

Also, there are thousands upon thousands of Bank HaPoalim customers who don't live in Israel and need to bank in English. I know this for a fact because I often hear my banker talking to people about their accounts on the phone. They call from South Africa, England, the States, Canada and anywhere else you can find English-speaking Jews. Is the bank trying to tell me that they don't want those people's money if the only way they can get it is by speaking English? Ha, I seriously doubt that. Banking is business and a damn good business at that. I doubt they reject any infusion of cash that arrives legally. (I am giving them the benefit of the doubt here vis-a-vis the origins of that cash.)

So now I have no choice but to go to the bank -- the exact action that I was trying to avoid by having internet banking in the first place -- to tell them what I think of them. Of course, they probably won't take me very seriously because I have told them what I think of them before and I haven't seen them change their ways even one iota as a result of my complaints.

With my luck, they will probably tell me to call Customer Service.