What was I thinking?

My son Ari is an academically smart kid who, to put it gently, is socially challenged. And I say that kindly because frankly, I don't understand it. How can he be my child?

Every time we tell him to call some friends and go do something, he gets catatonic. How complicated can it be to get one's cell phone, and punch in one of the many phone numbers it contains? Yet, every time his father or I suggest that he make some calls, he gets that glazed-over petrified tree look. My other kids are nothing like this. Suggest that they call a friend and you will undoubtedly have 30 kids at the door within 15 minutes.

That's why last week we decided to take matters into our own parental hands. When things get tough, parents have to get going. We sent out an email the parents of some of his friends and via the parents invited the kids to a surprise birthday party for Mr. Anti-Social. We also told the kids to invite anyone we overlooked. I know, I know. That was really stupid, but I have to tell you, at the time it just didn't seem like a bad idea.

Tonight, after the Sabbath ended, there were about eight kids at my house waiting for me to wander home from synagogue. They had already let themselves in, but that triggered the alarm so they were all standing coyly off to the side of our house looking guilty. They all came in with me and everyone settled in nicely snacking on junk food and drinking soda (and enthusiastically eyeing the whisky collection in the corner) waiting for Ari to come home so they could surprise him. Ari was suprised when he walked it. I think he was mostly surprised because for the life of him, he could never have managed to pull off such a complex (not) social task.

But, in the end, it was me who got the biggest surprise.

With things off to such a civilized start I decided that I was no longer needed and I headed back to my computer cave. Eight or nine kids all hanging around my kitchen having fun in a well-behaved manner. It was so "Happy Days" with Ritchie Cunningham and Fonzie and the others in their saddle shoes.

Then, all of a sudden there was a very definite and insistent knocking at the front door. The appropriate response would have been for me to run upstairs and tell all my existing guests to be quiet and whoever that was would go away. But I didn't do that. I just sat in my office ignoring the noise.

I don't know who opened the front door but I am not speaking to them again because when the door opened there were another 25 or so teenagers standing on my front step waiting to get in. It sounded like fast-traveling bursts of thunder.

At that point I decided that I was never going upstairs again. I called for pizza -- many pizzas in fact -- from a hidden location and just waited. In the end it was Zeve who took a stand. Neither he nor Yael was invited to the party but that didn't stop either of them from being right in the middle of everything. So it was Zeve who finally had enough of the pandemonium in the kitchen and living room -- and he sent everyone into the family room.

Once there, all the kids turned around and said: "Oh THIS is fun. What should we do?" Dumber than a pile of sticks I tell you. At which point I said: "Look, I invited you here. Now you figure out what to do." And then, lo and behold, they did. The moved all the musical equipment from its resting place in another room and started to play. Lots of the kids took turns.

And guess what? They had fun. All 30+ of them. And THEN guess what? They all went home -- after tidying up. No, I didn't ask them to do that. They just did it. They were so good, in fact, that I have decided to invite them all back for Yael's next birthday party because her friends are collectively maniacal. They are sort of like a pack of wild, traveling hyenas. They might be younger than 10 but they can total an entire house in 15 minutes flat.

Ari's friends, on the other hand, were so good that, actually, I think I will invite them to every party I have from now on.