The Israeli Daytime Drought

I haven't written much this week because I have been waiting for something blog-worthy to happen. Fortunately I didn't have to wait too long because my next door neighbours gave me all the ammunition I needed tonight.

Please note that I am NOT talking about my great Mexi-Cali neighbours, Batia and David. I am talking about my native-born Israeli neighbours who as far as I can tell are simply nasty and maybe evil.

What makes me say that, you may ask. Oh, I have good reason.

As some of you know Israel is in the midst of a serious drought. The water levels in Lake Kinnert (The Sea of Galilee to some of you) is at dangerously low levels. So low, in fact, that it is at risk suffering permanent damage to its ecosystem.

As a result of this drought there are signs everywhere – including the shower stalls at my club – stating that you shouldn't even dream of showering for more than about two minutes. And if you try lounging in the shower, the change room matron bangs on your shower stall door telling you that you have been in there long enough. No, I am not making this up.

Seems straightforward. There's a drought in Israel and Israelis have to cut back on their water usage. A+B=C.

But this is where the situation turns truly Israeli. Everyone in the country is being told through various media that they must be careful with their water usage. The government is talking about imposing penalties which it won't because … well, it won't.

But don't be mislead by the country's ineffective rhetoric. There is a huge problem, that is of course, unless you are my next door neighbours – a practicing lawyer and an ENT specialist who are so self-righteous and self-absorbed that they don't think that the water problem has anything to do with them.

True, most of the water in Israel is used for agriculture. But since we need food, asking farmers to cut back may not be the best long-term solution. Individuals are only minor water users, but many individuals using water quickly adds up.

And it is also a fact that many cities in Israel provide water to residents through their reservoirs. However, the bottom line is that if there is no rain in the winter, then the reservoirs can't possibly be full.

Either way, by not taking a tough stand with citizens, Israel risks wasting what little water it has.

When Chaim mentioned their unnecessary water use to our next door neighbours, they gave him the grin-and-ignore treatment. There is another term for it but this is a G-rated blog.

Finally, tonight, I cracked. After listening to my neighbours hose spilling out what seemed like gallons of water for well over an hour, I called the City for clarification. Here was how the conversation went:

Me: Hi. I am just calling to confirm that Israel is in the midst of a drought.

City Hotline guy: Yes, you're right.

Me: And am I correct in saying that citizens are being asked to use water very judiciously?

CHG: That's right.

Me: So why is it okay for my next door neighbour to water her lawn for more than an hour every night?

CHG: Oh, that's within her rights. It's not against the law to water your lawn at night.

Me: Oh, so there is no drought in Israel at night. It's only a daytime drought?

CHG: (DEAD SILENCE)

Me: Hello. Is anyone there?

CHG: It's not against the law and that's the way it is.

Me: Okay, no problem. I know this isn't your fault but I am going to make sure I tell everyone I know how stupid the State of Israel is.

CHG: (DEAD SILENCE)

Me: Good night.

CHG: Good night.

And with that, the City Hotline guy hung up and I opened my blog to start writing.