My next door neighbours are half Mexican

Bad news.

Unfortunately due to the pending swine flu pandemic, I am going to have to cut off all relations and contacts with my next door neighbours. I really like them but I am not prepared to sacrifice my life and that of my family just because Batia is Mexican and her parents have been visiting from Mexico. Worse still, David's mother is arriving soon from California. Heaven only knows what viruses she may unsuspectingly be carrying with her. Typhoid? Cholera? Small pox? Leprosy???

David and Batia, it's nothing personal, but I have to cancel our dinner plans for next week unless the entire pandemic issue turns out to be a hoax. If instead you would be happy to order in at your house, and I will order in at my house, we could converse via web camera and pretend we are eating together. I'm sorry, but that's the best I can offer right now.

So far every Israeli who has had contact with Mexico has contracted swine flu. Granted, they are all in isolation units in various Israeli hospitals and doctors handling the cases are telling the public not to worry because they have enough Tamiflu to help anyone who needs it.

That should be good news, but since I am not easily duped, I checked the Toronto papers today. And a nurse there told two reporters who were heading to Mexico to cover the potential pandemic story that Tamiflu was only marginally useful against this new aggressive strain of the flu.

Okay, so who is yanking my chain?

Why is it that there is always research to be done? And why is that I am the one always doing it?

So I did some checking. The manufacturer, Roche, says that TAmiflu is totally effective but what did you expect them to say? "Yikes, we made a mistake." I am going to have to do some more independent research tomorrow. It's my cross to bear.

In the meantime, I am going to shut all my windows and doors, and pray that Batia doesn't need any eggs or milk. I should probably email all the other neighbours that I like and tell them to watch out! I am not going to mention it to my creepy neighbours because this might be a great way to get rid of them without premeditated intervention -- which could easily land me in jail.

Wow, now that I think of it, this whole Swine Flu -- or whatever the WHO and the Israeli Ministry of Health are calling it today -- might just turn out to be a very serendipitous event. I think I will call my creepy neighbours and leave them an urgent message from Batia. Then I will just sit back and see what happens next.