Don't get your own bus

Okay, I just read the paper again. You would think I had learned my lesson several years ago, but apparently I am a glutton for punishment. And today, I must have requested the Chinese Water Torture on maximum drip.

This is one of those days when I am just not happy to be a member of the tribe (that's an insider's way of saying Jewish --- shhhh).

So, what is my problem you ask? Thank you for inquiring and I'll tell you what's bugging me today. There are terrible things happening all over the world. You don't need a list, just read a few newspapers. And what is today's issue in Israel?

The ultra-religious Jews want their own buses because otherwise they cannot dictate whether a woman sits next to a man on the way from one religious neighbourhood in Jerusalem to the Western Wall. Now I don't mean a naked woman and a naked man. I mean two people of the opposite sex, fully clothed but coincidentally going in the same direction. The ultra-religious Jewish men want a segregated bus. They want to undo all the good that poor Rosa Parks did way back in December of 1955.

Rosa only wanted to sit at the front of the bus -- maybe the back of the bus made her naseous. Today, her defiance sounds so minor. Today, no one would care if the people on the bus were purple... well, almost no one. The ultra-orthodox men would notice and care ... if you were a woman.

I have wracked my brains (that may not be saying much) and I really and truly cannot figure out what could possibly happen if a woman sat next to a man on the bus. Are men really that weak and pathetic that they cannot focus on the bus ride if a woman is sitting next to them? These guys wear heavy coats even in the heat of the summer so they are sweaty and smelly. I am sure everyone just can't wait to sit next to one of them.

I take the bus a considerable amount. I love the bus. I just hop on, pay my fare, put my earphones in my ears and turn on my iPod -- and then I can go anywhere. No parking, no worrying about missing the turn-off. For me, the bus is travel nirvana.

Funny thing is that I spend most of my time on the bus easing away from whatever creepy person takes the seat next to me -- and just as often as not, those creepy people are other women. To me, creepiness is not gender specific. It's a universal, colour-blind, gender and age oblivious thing.

Maybe if all those misguided zealots would actually get jobs, they could afford cars or at least taxi service and then they could choose to travel with whomever they wanted. But as long as they don't, then I think they just have to accept that the bus represents the lowest common denominator of travel. And on top of that, this country has issues -- really issues. The government doesn't have time to be arguing about who can sit on what bus where.

So now, not for the first time, the ultra-orthodox are holding the Ministry of Transportation hostage (they did this to El Al a few years ago and guess who won? Not El Al.).

I really hate to rail against my own peeps, but it dawns on me that these are not my peeps. My peeps are all sane and relatively reasonable, moderate thinkers -- of various colours, genders, ages, sizes, and shapes. Some lean a little left or right at any given moment, but not so much so that they could tip the bus.

Rosa Parks's act of defiance became an important symbol of the modern Civil Rights Movement and she went on to do many great things in the name of civil rights. Now if someone could just tell me what greater good the zealots are doing or plan to do, then I promise to eat one of their black hats.