It is March 15th -- the Ides of March for anyone who is paying attention -- and I am freezing. I am sitting here in my little corner, in my house, in my Canadian-strength down jacket typing about how cold I am.
According to my husband I have two temperatures -- freezing to death and sweating to death. As you can tell by their names, neither is particularly comfortable. I have done a quick calculation and I have to admit that there are approximately nine days a year where I am completely satisfied with the weather in Israel.
The winter before we left Toronto I spent every snowy day counting down; knowing full well that they were the last snowy days of my life. Yes, that is a bit dramatic but when you walk out the door in the morning and it is -25 degrees celsius you need to use all your mental powers to stave off frostbite. What are you going to do? Stay in all winter? It's a great thought but totally impractical.
I thought winter in Israel would be better and in terms of minus anything celsius it is better. But there are a few holes in the story. For one, houses in Israel are made out of cement blocks and the concept of insulation just never made it here. Houses are intentionally designed to stay cool -- which they don't do that well to begin with.
In my first house in Israel I can honestly say that I got in bed more than one night dressed in a down jacket, sweat pants and socks. The first time Chaim asked me where I was going and I said: "To bed". "How are you going to sleep dressed like that?" he asked. But the answer was simple: very well and toasty warm thank you.
I never thought I would see the day that as a sober adult I would have to resort to sleeping in what was previously used for outerwear.
But before you start thinking that winter doesn't last long in Israel, think again. It really doesn't start getting cold until sometime in late December and then there are always a few "chamsins" (heat waves) where it is suddenly 30 degrees celsius in February.
I particularly love the tourists who think it will be warm by April. They arrive here with their bathing suits and shorts, ready to lounge poolside in Jerusalem. All I can figure is that it is a PR scam perpetrated by the Israeli government to boost April travel.
And I don't want to neglect summer which arrives about 20 minutes after winter leaves. Okay, that's not really true. November is often a beautiful month and May can be nice as well. But even if May is comfortable, June sneaks up on you and before you know it you are praying for a good night's sleep in your down-filled jacket. And by August you are looking for ways to peel off your skin -- anything to cool down. Then comes the cruelest of all Israeli weather tricks.... It doesn't cool down in September or October. It often gets hotter. You try to hike up a mountain during the school break for Sukkot when it is 34 degrees celsius. No, I am not making this up. I have photos.
The bottom line is that I am a born and bred Canadian and for me, it is a natural law that the weather turns cool in September. Period. It's non-negotiable. New school year. New school supplies. Jewish holidays and ... corduroy. I simply cannot accept any other version of September. I am still getting over the shock of going to synagogue for Yom Kippur in a summer weight dress and bare legs.
So now I will wrap up with the forecast for the remainder of the week. Cold tomorrow (that's about 17 degrees celsius for me). Cold the next day (similar temperature) and then inching up to 22 celsius by Thursday. I am almost starting to wish for summer.
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