Friday, May 23, 2014

When the furry nazis abandoned their camp

Those of you who have followed my blog over the years know that I have a totally unpleasant relationship with my next door neighbours which is often manifested through their two dogs. And as you also know, I have nicknamed the dogs to reflect our relationship status and their unfortunate appearance.

Is it my fault that one of them is the exact animalization (I made that word up as the opposite of personification) of Adolf Hitler? No, it is not but that doesn't mean that it isn't fortuitous for me.

During the past few months I decided that I was approaching my relationship with Adolf and Hess completely incorrectly. I realized that rather than trying to intimidate them that I should be trying to kill them (not literally) with kindness. So, I started to feed them dog biscuits and pet them.

Hess was been much more responsive to my overtures than Adolf. No surprise there. Adolf is such a little canine Nazi.

But here's what is most interesting.

The other night I heard my husband outside talking to someone. Or should I say, something. As it turns out Adolf and Hess had discovered a weak spot in the fence between our homes and broke out of what I consider to be their work camp, to freedom at my house!

Since their owners rarely walk them or acknowledge them as anything more than the security riff raff, and since they see Pepper leave for her thrice-daily walks, they apparently held a secret meeting and set their minds to escaping. You think I am making this up but I am confident that I have correctly interpreted their thinking.

Guess what happened next? Upon finding the escaped Nazis in our yard, my husband went to open the gate to let the horrible neighbours know that we had their dogs. Adolf made a run for it, but Hess stayed behind for some additional attention and of course, a  secret dog biscuit.

Next my husband went inside and found all the materials he needed to repair the fence.

Apparently my evil neighbours didn't like the fence patch-up job so they re-did it to their satisfaction and it was crap. The dogs, sensing that their window of opportunity for freedom and a chance for a better life was rapidly  closing, decided to make a second break for it. So when I went to take Pepper for her evening stroll, there they were again .... waiting near my front door ... for me .... the doggy biscuit lady. They both accompanied me on Pepper's walk  and when I returned home I bid them farewell and godspeed. I was prepared to give them both cash for the bus -- anything to upset the balance of life next door.

I feel a little bit like the neighbour who helped those poor unfortunately girls in Cleveland escape their captor after 10 years of unspeakable abuse. I know it isn't the same ... but I felt I was doing a similar good deed. Unfortunately, and unlike those girls, the dogs families were not out looking for them and the police were not interested, so they ended up back behind bars.

I have a meeting with them soon to figure out the next plan.




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