The ultimate convenant

This morning, the first day after the end of my year of mourning for my father and my religion-imposed exile, I attended a brit milah for my friends' grandson. After a year of avoiding all social activity, it was a little bit odd to be out in the greater party world again.

As we all stood inside the main sanctuary of our synagogue chit chatting and loosely participating in the goings on in the center of the room, it dawned on me that the guest of honour was not having nearly as much fun as the rest of us.

First of all, a brit -- or religious circumcision -- is normally held eight days after the birth of a little Jewish baby boy. In the event of medical concerns it may be postponed, as it was in this case because the baby had jaundice. The upside is that it gave me a week to refer to him as the little yellow fellow, but the downside (for him) is that his little nerve endings are a week more developed. In the case of circumcision, this can't possibly be a good thing.

And as if having your foreskin non-surgically removed isn't enough fun for one day, can you imagine the fact that it is obligatory for those in attendance to sit down and have a meal afterward. Frankly, knowing that some poor helpless little guy just lost a piece of skin on such a delicate part of his little body does not put me in the mood to eat -- I don't care if it is obligatory or not.

In addition, all the people who have come to help you celebrate the circumcision are just having a grand old time. I finally realized why that is -- they love tradition and historical continuity that goes on for more than 4000 years -- but more than that, they are just glad that it isn't their child on the chopping block. Okay, it isn't actually a chopping block. Apparently there is a little device that the mohel (the person doing the circumcision) places on the penis that separates the foreskin from the remainder of the member. And then, apparently, it is only a quick snip.

Word has it that circumcision improves sexual sensitivity, but I cannot say that with any degree of confidence. And since the little victims won't be using said members for such purposes for years to come, I don't really see why that should be a rationalization. I am willing to go with the health and cleanliness angle more than the sexual sensitivity angle.

The one thing that I do understand is that it does signify the continuity of the Jewish people. Every Jewish man has been there and done that -- and the uncircumcised penises of their offspring are visually odd to them and signify a (temporary) break in the chain.

What I would like to know is why circumcision? What kind of just and tolerant God comes up with such a covenant between Himself and His flock? There must have been some other symbol that would have worked. A tattoo at 18 perhaps? A pinky-pull? A secret handshake? A secret language? Something. Anything. As long as it was less intrusive.

Oh yes, and preferably something that did not include food.