There are many things that happen in each of our lives that make us stop and think: "This could have only happened here (wherever your "here" happens to be). Well, the following story happened to my friend Pam yesterday and frankly, I doubt it would have happened anywhere else.
First of all, this is a country of immigrants. Most of the people who are citizens of the State of Israel were not born here and if perchance they were, then it is very likely that their parents came from some other part of the world. (I am always amazed when I meet a 7th generation Israeli. They are not exactly a dime a dozen.)
Second, because many of the immigrants who came here did so in search of a better life -- or to save their lives -- it is not unusual to stumble across high-achievers who are doing menial work simply because that is all they can do here. Whether it is because of their language limitations, or because they arrived too late in their lives to re-accredit for all of their previous designations, or some variation on that theme ... there are men with PhDs in maths and sciences sweeping the streets.
I know that this phenomena exists elsewhere, but I am willing to bet that it does not exist to the same degree as it does here.
That said, here is Pam's story, told by Pam, but retyped by me. It's really hilarious because even though I wasn't there when it happened, I can completely visualize it in my mind's eye.
"I walked into my bedroom this morning, (Pam lives on the 10th floor of an apartment building), and there was a bird -- a pigeon -- sitting on my bed. Obviously I panicked and started screaming as if there was a lion perched on my bed. I got a broom and started banging it and flailing it in the hopes of scaring the bird into flying back out the open window. That plan didn't work. The bird went under the bed and around the room, every time it moved I shrieked but in the end the bird was still there. I didn't know what to do, I had just come home from the gym, I needed to shower and move on with my day and that bird needed to get out of my room.
"Then I remembered, there is a man who comes a few times a week to clean the hallways and the lobby of my building. If he was here today, maybe he could get rid of the bird. I don't know the man's name. He seems nice enough, as we smile and nod to each other when I see him working. I refer to him as Raskolnikov, like the main character in Crime and Punishment.
"I don't know what Raskolnikov looked like, truthfully I don't think I finished the book. I should admit right here that I don't speak Hebrew. Yes, I have lived in Israel for 5 1/2 years and I do not speak the language. Believe me, I understand that it is at my own peril.
I found "Raskolnikov", in the lobby and said, "Can you help me? hadar sheli tsippor bifneem". (Translation by me: My room has a story inside -- what she was trying to say was that there was a bird in her room. The words for bird and story are quite similar. And you all thought my hebrew stunk!) He looked quite puzzled, possibly because none of the words in that sentence made any sense. He must have understood that I needed some kind of help. I repeated my ridiculous sentence. He asked me in Hebrew what floor I lived on and then he followed me into the elevator and into my apartment. I can't even imagine what he thought was going to happen.
"I went into my bedroom and the bird was still waiting patiently at the foot of my bed. "Raskolnikov", came in and saw the bird, he smiled as now the situation became perfectly clear. I handed him a towel and the broom, while I hid behind the door. After a few minutes he was able to grab the bird, (something I never even thought of doing), and tossed it out the window.
"I thanked him profusley and I even offered him money as thanks, which he absolutley refused.
"Then he looked around my living room and saw our piano. Ah, psanter (another translation: piano), he said. I gestured to him to please try it out. He sat down at the piano and after a moment he started to play the most amazing music. Out came a whole medley of classical music and some standards - beautiful. Now, of course as you are reading this, you are thinking, well of course, he is Russian, naturally he plays the piano. Quite possibly back in the old country he was a pianist. The musical interlude ended and we thanked each other and Rasklnikov left and went back to work.
"I immediatly got on the phone and started telling this story. My husband was laughing his head of while standing at a tube station in London. One of my girlfriends reminded me as she often does, that something like this would never have happened in Cleveland Ohio, where I come from. My daughter at Hebrew University, also got a good laugh. She then pointed out that I had used all the wrong words and including tzippor- song instead of tzipporah- bird. When my 11 year old son came home from school, I told him all about my funny adventure. All he said was, "Mom, you really need to go to an Ulpan".
"My son, of course, is right I should learn the language. There are lots of reasons I should learn to speak Hebrew; asking someone to help me get a bird out of my bedroom is only one of them, not embarrassing my son is another. I don't really feel like it though. In Ra'anana, and lots of other places, for better or worse, I am able to stumble along in my mixture of mostly English and a little bit of bad Hebrew. Even this morning I was able to get my problem solved and get to hear a few minutes of beautiful music.
Isn't that a great story? I loved it and that's why I wanted to share it with you. Plus the fact that Pam's hebrew makes my hebrew sound like I speak at university level. I hope you enjoyed it too!
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