And now for a weather update

I am cold. It is nine degrees celcius here right now and it has been raining for several days and I am chilled to the bone. And if one more person, upon hearing how cold I feel, says to me "but your Canadian", I am going to punch them in the face. I know I am Canadian, I renewed my passport last week at the Canadian Embassy. That was a dead giveaway.

So consider yourselves warned.

Israel is experiencing below seasonal temperatures. This isn't particularly newsworthy because the entire world seems to be in temperature flux these days. What is interesting are the weather-related observations.

1. As I have mentioned many times on these electronic pages, buildings in Israel are built with cement blocks and there is no insulation added. Why? It seems so obvious to me, the non-builder. When I Googled "sheets of insulation for sale" I got more than three million options. I am sure we could have lots of it shipped here. And if we made a bulk order for the entire country, I am pretty sure we could get a good deal.  (Ken Nichols Insulation in Sullivan, IL, is offering excellent discount prices.) 

2. Saying you are sick and tired of the rain in Israel is pretty much the same as saying you are sick and tired of your grandmother (as you set her out to sea on an ice floe). Try saying that in Israeli company and let me know if you live to see tomorrow. Israel needs rain; well, the Kinneret (Sea of Galilee) in particular needs rain. And since rain is considered a blessing from God in these parts, one has to be out of one's mind to complain publicly about it. Ever. That said, I would like to know why the Almighty can't improve His aim and send the water where it needs to go?

3. One of my friends here is from the Canadian Midwest. He likes to tell me every few years how not cold it is here. He knows cold and this isn't it. He tells me that he doesn't even wear a jacket in the winter when he is in Israel (I don't believe him but I don't have time to stalk him and catch him in the act of jacket wearing).  Of course, he spends a lot of time in the Northeastern United States which means that, relatively speaking, he is right. His body's temperature memory is still operational. Mine is not. I live here more consistently than he does. Nine celcius is the new minus 30 for me.

4. Why does my country of birth have any bearing on how cold I feel? No one questions the people from Detroit. Or Chicago. Or Cleveland. It is definitely as cold or colder in those places as it is in Toronto. And what does the place I come from15 years ago have to do with me being cold today? And does that mean that everyone who survived a week of deep winter skiing should be able to tolerate cold? Don't you think that being away from the real cold for 15 years would allow your body to forget? For Heaven's sake, this isn't riding a bicycle.

5. It is often warmer outside your home than inside. Seriously. Sometimes in the winter, I go outside in search of the noonday sun and even if that means sitting on a curb with my lunch in hand, and playing stupid games on my phone for 20 minutes, I do it. I once took the newspaper and sat in my car while the sun was beating directly onto the front windshield. When my neighbour spotted me and asked me what I was doing, I told him I was having quiet time in my auxiliary den. Unfortunately, in this past week, the sun took a vacation in Ethiopia and my auxiliary living space is unoccupied.

Now it is bedtime and it is time to head to my cryogenic-lab-temperature-approved bedroom. If I survive until the morning I am definitely going to contact Ken Nicols.

The Great Deep Freeze of 2015

Most people have about a zillion more important things to do than follow the winter weather follies of Israel. Normally I am one of them. But not this year; in the 13 years since we arrived at  32* 11' 0" N/ 34* 52' 0" E (Ra'anana's normally desirable latitude and longitude) I never dreamed I could be so cold. Cold to the core of my being.

If one more person says to me: "You're a Canadian", with the additionally implied "I thought you could handle this weather", I am going to scream. If you look at the actual thermostat readings of the past week, they should -- for a Canadian or anyone from the northern third of the US -- be totally late Fall or early Spring acceptable.

So why is that all my Canadian friends in Israel, along with a gaggle of New Yorkers, New Englanders, Chicagoans and the like, have spent an exorbitant amount of time fantasizing about their old winter coats that they left behind and their inexplicable new found weather-wimpiness?

"Ice?"

"Ha."

"I used to eat ice for breakfast before I went outside in -20*C to scrape the even thicker ice off my frozen car windshield with my bare hands."

What happened to all of us hearty types?

I'll tell you what happened.

First the science: Our body's ability to control temperature or thermo-regulate does involve blood circulation. In the cold, the small blood vessels on the surface of our bodies get smaller to keep warm blood deeper inside. Apparently, my body forgot how to recognize that it was time to shut down its small blood vessels to protect me. It has become more used to dilating to release heat. It is a scientific fact that if you live in a warm climate for a long time and return to a cold one (or in this case, freak cold weather comes to your warm climate), it takes longer for your circulation to adjust.

Now the reality: It has more to do with our perception of temperature than the actual temperature. Let me explain that more clearly. In our North American minds there is no reason to feel cold when the thermostat says that it is 10*C. Speaking as a Torontonian, 10*C represents a very nice Spring day -- particularly when accompanied by sun. It is surely not a day for a hat or gloves. And it is definitely NOT winter coat weather.

And finally, the facts on the ground: There are many of them including that houses here are built without insulation and are constructed with cement blocks and stone. Not the coziest of build materials. But the real reason that we are so cold when the temperature falls to single Celcius digits, after decades of preparation for months at a time of minus 10 and 20 (and sometimes minus 30) is that we are in denial.  We came all this way and left the winters behind us. It wasn't the reason we came but it was a lovely side effect. However, when we face an aberration in the weather it never dawns on us to change our thinking.

This little scenario illustrates my point:

Scene: Walking from the parking lot of the Country Club to the club the other day with my Toronto-born and bred friend Iris. Both of us in our exercise clothes -- tights and long-sleeve, quick-dry shirts.

Me: I am so bloody cold. I can't believe it.
Iris: The last time I felt this cold was in winter in Toronto.
Iris: My backside (I am using creative licence here with her language) is frozen.
Me: My legs are too.
Both of us: laughing at how ridiculous we know we sound.
Iris: Of course, I guess we could have worn coats.