Sunday, May 29, 2016

10 reasons for Jews to live in Europe

As always, most of the really interesting feedback from last week's post arrived on the street, via email and WhatsApp and even in my backyard. While it is never really clear to me why my readers crave face-to-face discussion in the midst of society's greatest technological age, so be it. Therefore, I am left to relay the myriad conversations to my less accessible readers through the second Jews In Europe post.

Here are 10 reasons my readers disagree with me and my position that Jews should get the hell out of Europe.

1. Who died and left you in charge of where people can or should live? Fair point.

2. Many of the Jews who are part of this New Enlightenment Period in parts of Europe always lived in Europe. They never left. Not even after the Holocaust. The difference now is that they have re-connected with their Jewish identities and that is a good thing. Well, if the choice is being there and hiding in fear or being there in a more overt sense, obviously I vote for being seen. Of course, try being seen with a kippa or a sefer Torah on the street before we agree on how well that works.

3. If all Jews live in one place it is easier to kill them. Better that there should be Jews spread out around the world. Yes, true, until someone designs a sawed-off nuclear weapon capable of indiscriminate and simultaneous targeting of Jews wherever they are, spreading out may have its benefits. Harder to reach everyone in all the dark, little corners of the world.

4. There's no real threat in (fill in your region, country, neighbourhood or room in your house). Spanish Jews say they aren't feeling it; British Jews keep saying the newspapers are exaggerating the story to make it more newsworthy. I am not there but there seem to be an awful lot of security people positioned (yes, in media photos) around Jewish schools and synagogues for places with artificially inflated threats. Of course, Spain is actively pursuing the return of the descendants of the Jews evicted during the Spanish Inquisition. Probably so that there will be a clear group of people to blame for Spain's growing economic woes. Right now, with so few Jews in the country, they might have to blame poor economic performance on government incompetence.

5. Denial by the authorities. Countries like Denmark pride themselves on their inherent culture of tolerance so they simply cannot fathom that something bad could happen to a group of their citizens -- even the Jews. They think they are above the fray. Of course, if you poke your head above the fray, some not so tolerant Dane will eventually knock it off. Sort of like a not-so-fun game of Whack-A-Mole.

6. Not everyone wants to live in Israel or could make a go of it here. Well that's for damn sure.

7. Israel is way more dangerous. I really don't have the energy to respond to this one. It is not more dangerous to live in Israel as a Jew than it is to live in Europe as a Jew. If we were talking the US or Canada, I might agree, but not Europe. At least in Israel we are on a country-wide alert for crazies. In Belgium, on the other hand, the crazies work in the airport. On one hand, that makes them much easier to find but on the other hand, they are within spitting distance of some seriously combustible capital.

8. There's been anti-Semitism in Europe for more than 1000 years. We simply learn to live around it. Europe wrote the book on Reasons the Jews are to Blame for Everything: From the Death of Jesus to the creation of both Capitalism and Communism. While it makes for a very comprehensive read of the entire history of the modern world, sane people everywhere know that the Jews are the ultimate malevolent force in the world and that everything would be perfect without them.

9. The only violence in Europe against the Jews today is coming from Muslims, not from regular Europeans. So the logical conclusion of that statement is that that it is okay? Let's just say that it is true and that the problem is only disenfranchised Muslim immigrants. I guess that makes it okay because there are only 45 million or so of them (at least there were in 2010), so that really has nothing to do with real indigenous Europeans.

10. Israeli chocolate pudding is far less expensive in Berlin than it is in Israel. Yes, the humble little Milky. In Berlin they are 33% cheaper than what they cost in Israel. And that's why Israelis are flocking to Berlin to live. Berlin has the fastest growing Jewish community in the world today because of the chocolate pudding. Okay, it's a reason; I never said "good" reasons.

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