Midnight BBQing in January

It may simply be that this story sounds peculiar because I grew up in a climate with a cold Autumn, a very long Winter and vague and fleeing concept of Spring. Or, it might simply be a sign of the times and I am developing an old person's view of the world. So, if you live outside of Israel -- at 40 degrees latitude north or higher -- and this story sounds familiar to you, then please let me know.

Twice in the past few weeks I have had oddly similar experiences: members of my family (male persuasion and without completed university educations) have arrived at home around 10:00 pm and casually mentioned that a) they need me to leave of the kitchen or b) need a one-time barbecue kit because they are having a barbecue in a few minutes.

Did I mention that it was January? And did I mention that digesting meat after 8:00 pm sounds risky to me?

Here's how the first scenario went:

Son #1 showed up unexpectedly on a Thursday night around 10 pm and asked me if I was finished with the kitchen. Normally I am nowhere near the kitchen at 10 pm but it was Thursday night and I was cooking for Shabbat, so yes, I was still in the kitchen and I was feeling pretty territorial about it. 

"I'm almost done," I said without the slightest inclination for what was coming next. "Okay, good, because I have some friends coming over for a bbq in a few minutes." Since it was one of the last things I expected to hear at 10 pm on a Thursday night, I was rendered speechless..... momentarily. I regrouped quickly enough to determine that some of the friends were out buying meat, a few tomatoes and frozen french fries. What no one tells you, but after one experience you should already know, is that they do not have anything but the meat, tomatoes and the frozen fries and they don't even know what to do with the frozen fries. In other words, not only are you now back in the kitchen searching for paper plates and cups, condiments, cutlery, and napkins, but you are in charge of cooking the bloody fries.

The second scenario was a little simpler: Son #2, who is more inclined to carry on his social life as far away from his family as he can get by foot or bus, took a more practical approach two weeks later when, at about 9:30 pm he called to me from somewhere I wasn't in the house: "Ema, I need an 'echad pa'ami' barbecue (a one-time, one use barbecue) and hotdogs because I am going to a bbq."  He's younger so I am expected to have the portable barbecue on hand, as well as the food. And I did. You didn't really think I haven't been in this situation before, did you? The alternative is the guilt trip about why I will not take him to the grocery store on Thursday night at 10 to get all the things he needs IMMEDIATELY. The guilt trip never works but who needs to travel that road unnecessarily?

Of course, Son #2 also has lower expectations because he is younger. Son #1, who is equally improverished, only barbecues steaks. Son #2 was happy to leave home with 12 frozen hotdogs from the freezer and a little bbq from my stash in the basement (yes, I keep a few on hand for moments exactly like this).

All I keep thinking in both instances was who came up with this plan and couldn't they have anticipated their needs a little earlier in the week. But planning ahead is apparently an adult mindset, so the answer is it doesn't matter whose brainchild this plan was, the concept of looking ahead more than 30 minutes was inconceivable. As far as they are concerned, this was thinking ahead!

I am sure this happens in Israel all the time -- this is the land of bonfires after all. I guess it is simply yet another example of how moving to a new country and culture at 40 means that you will never see the world the way your children who were raised here see it. 

Plus, the temperature could drop to 8 degrees Celsius at any moment or they could get a bad stomach ache.