And you call me low-class?

Every Wednesday I begin wondering what I am going to write here on Thursday. And then, miraculously, every Thursday morning something happens -- either in the news or in my life -- that fits the bill perfectly. Today's post is brought to you compliments of the media.

The first story is about cream cheese -- or g'vina levana as it is known here. This is an excellent example of Israeli logic at work. Ynet recently reported that because cream cheese is on the list of products that is scheduled to experience government-imposed price reductions, the reduced price will affect consumer perceptions and will, going forward, be seen as a product for poor people. That's not all. As a result of its new image, comparable to gruel, Israelis, not wanting to look poor, will start to buy more high-end (read: imported and specialty manufactured) cream cheese.

Okay, now you can comment.

Are you finished?

Then let's continue.

Here's the second story. CNN reported today that Ralph Lauren's niece caused an international air incident when, as a result of her very bad behaviour while intoxicated, forced a Delta trans-Atlantic flight en route to New York to land in Ireland. Before I continue, let me state for the records that I am no fan of CNN unless it is serving my purposes -- which it is doing today. Do not, and I repeat, do not get your Middle East news coverage from these people unless you have a hankering for the anti-Israel bias it so readily and willingly offers.

Back to my story.

Where did the holier-than-thou attitude come from? Are Israelis so worried about how they "look" that they are willing to spend money they do not have to save their cheese image? And don't you think that some people who are middle class or higher like to save money? You can call me poor or low-class any day you want. And if you want to look down on me for buying the cheaper cream cheese, you just go right ahead.

Now some of you will say (and with good reason): "but you are the cheapest person I know." When it comes to my cream cheese buying habits, I agree. That cheapness extends to schlepping to Petach Tikva for grape juice, paper towels and garbage bags. And when it comes to my ability to sniff out a pair of sample-sized Ferragamos on EBay for a ridiculously low price, it's also true but, I think some of you are secretly impressed.

But here's the catch. For all the misinformed, imaged crazed Israelis out there, this is what low-class really looks like. A wealthy Jewish woman behaving so badly on an airplane that the airline is forced to bring the plane down for an unscheduled stop. The thoughtless behaviour of someone who has had a life a privilege (and can buy any cream cheese she wants if she ever deems to enter a grocery or gourmet food store) inconveniencing 250 other people because she cannot hold her liquor for eight hours.

As for you cheese-image angsters (when you have your own blog, you can make up words) I suggest you spend a small portion of your cream cheese savings on a fake container so you can look the part of the upper-class cheese eater without blowing your bank account. That, or you can take some time and rejig your moral compass ... maybe on a plane.