My dog, Pepper, has a pattern of behaviour that leads me to believe that she is either an anti-semite or at best, a covert member of Meretz (Israel's most obvious anti-relgious political party).
That may sound a little dramatic but I have proof.
When you first meet her, Pepper is the cutest little Cairn terrier. She is the visual reincarnate of Dorothy's Toto in the Wizard of Oz. But that's where the similarities stop. Toto was dedicated to his friend Dorothy. They ran away together and later survived a tornado together.
Pepper, on the other hand, is a rebel.
You can call her name for an hour and she will stand there -- 10 feet away -- looking at you like you grew another head. If there is ever a tornado I will not stand around expecting cooperation from her.
This leads me to her anti-semitic inclinations.
Every Friday afternoon, and dusk sets in and the Jewish Sabbath begins, Pepper gets antsy. By this time the male segment of my family has all left for synagogue and I am home, trying to get ready myself, with yappy Pepper getting apopletic over something or other.
Last week, for the fourth time in the 16 months since we got her, Pepper was having a pre-Shabbat tizzy fit. There was something outside our door and it was sending her into spasms of angst.
My first mistake was to respond to my dog's needs. I opened the front door to see that all the fuss was about, and there on my front step was a big white dog with a red collar. I barely had time to collect my thoughts about how this dog got into my gated yard, when Pepper went bolting out the door to state her territorial claim.
Fortunately, or unfortunately, depending on how you view things, I was ready for synagogue, so I tried to recapture my crazed territorial dictator of a dog. Let's just say that she has better moves that I do, particularly when I was in high heels and she was not. Within minutes the two dogs had run through a hole in the wall in my backyard and were off.
Normally Pepper squeezes through the hole into my neighbour's yard and mozies around until I come and get her. But since it was Friday evening, and I was supposed to be in synagogue, she decided to run for it.
This is not her first Friday evening escape. And each time she pulls this stunt I foolishly try to find her and put her back in the house before I got to synagogue.
I did chase her for a few minutes because if the dog catchers find her first I am looking at an 800 shekel fine.
But then it dawned on me, Pepper's prefered escape time is often Friday evenings. I am usually dressed in nice clothes -- and more importantly, nice shoes. I am supposed to be somewhere doing something much more important than running around like an idiot trying to coax my no-coaxable dog to come to me. And that is when I decided that she was on her own. Yes, I cut her loose so to speak and went to synagogue.
I sent my reluctant daughter in to the men's section of the synagogue to tell my husband that the damn dog had, yet again, run away but that I was here and not going to track her down. He couldn't have cared less.
It was about half way into the Friday night service that I noticed my husband signalling me that Pepper was outside the synagogue. Needless to say, he had no intention of leaving to go deal with her. I think he would say that separate sex seating has its advantages -- and this was one of them. I couldn't get to him so I had no choice but to leave the service and get my dog.
And that is why I think Pepper is anti-semetic or anti-religous. She had all week to make her standard escape, but she choose to wait until the least appropriate minute of the week to do so. It's obvious -- she is no friend to the Jews. I think I'll call the Weisenthal Center.
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