Boy I'm angry. I think I'll kill a Jew

For the past 2000 years or more, it seems that every time something goes badly for a person or group of people, the logical remedy is to kill Jews. I'm not really sure why. Do we die better than most? Do you think it will get you brownie points from your heavenly host? Will it solve all your problems? I doubt all of that, but for the life of me I can't find an answer I can live with.

There just doesn't seem to be any apparent logic.

Yesterday, in New York City, four men were arrested for planning to bomb a Bronx synagogue, a Jewish community center in Riverdale, and to shoot down US military jets with guided missiles.

That might not seem like much of a story to you, but here's the part of the story that really got to me. The reason that these misguided fools decided to bomb two Jewish landmarks was because one of the four co-conspirators was angry that his family, who are Muslims in Afghanistan, aren't being treated nicely there.

Well, I don't know about you but that seems like a perfectly good reason to bomb two Jewish facilities in New York City and kill lots of innocent people. That's really going to show those Afghanis who aren't being nice to Muslims a thing or two. Once they hear that some idiots in New York killed a few hundred Jews to send them a message, boy are they going to start shaking with fear -- just as soon as the partying is over.

I only wish that the Jews were the problem in Afghanistan. If they were, then we could get things wrapped up quickly over there. Jews, generally speaking, are not crazed people who want the world to accept their religion and their ways or die. Okay, there may be a few that do but 99.99 percent of the Jews ignore them.

So, how exactly, did these four fools (and they really are fools) come to the conclusion that by killing Jews they would be making a statement on the war in Afghanistan?

News flash to all you fools out there: the problems in Afghanistan have nothing to do with Jews. If you are angry at Afghanistan and you feel the need to kill someone, why don't you find a member of the Taliban and give it to him between the eyes? I don't advocate violence but at least that would be logical or sequential violence.

These four hoodlums also wanted to bomb US military planes. And once again, I am left to ask the same question. What would be the point of that? The US, regardless of how misguided and intrusive it might be, is trying to make Afghanistan a safer place for people of differing religions to co-exist. Didn't any of these guys do an ounce of homework? Oh don't bother answering that question.

Who the hell makes a political point by murdering the powerful, influential people trying to help them?

Killing innocent Jews I can almost understand because it is such old news. We have so been there and done that. That lack of logic doesn't even phase us Jews anymore. "Oh, you lost your job today? That's too bad. Hey, why don't you go out and kill a Jew. That will definitely make you feel better. It's been working for a few millenia already."

That's what makes Israel so important to some Jews -- not all Jews get it and not all Jews care. Chances of being blown up in Israel by a citizen of the country are relatively slim. Without Israel we Jews wouldn't stand a chance -- eventually everyone will have a bad day that they will conveniently blame on the Jews and then it's just a matter of time until they buy the tools necessary to blow us up wherever they can find us.

The bottom line is that these guys were caught before they could inflict much damage. But it goes to show once again that there are so many people out there who think that all the world's ills will be resolved if they just get rid of the Jews. My piss and vinegar side says: "Go ahead. Try it". But then I have to remind myself that they already are!!

And while the FBI caught this little ragtag group, the logic behind their thinking is still running rampant out there. One group down, millions more to go. And in the meantime, I am just hoping that everyone has a decent enough day to keep them from the inevitable conclusion of a bad day.

Catholics and Jews share an inseparable bond? Really?

I would like to apologize up front to my Catholic readers. Now excuse me because I have to tear a major strip of your pope. I am sorry to have to do this but he asked for it. Here goes.....

As you know Pope Benedict (a.k.a. John Ratzinger of Barvaria, Germany) is in Israel. However, before entering Israel, he spoke from Mount Nebo in Jordan (okay, at least he officially insulted the bejeebers out of Jews worldwide from outside Israel) which is where Moses reportedly looked down into the Land of Israel that he would never enter. Pope "El Deluded" Benedict spoke about the "inseparable bond" between the Jews and the Catholics. And I would just like to know in as precise detail as possible, what the hell is he talking about?

Is he talking about the 2000 years of anti-semitism? Is he talking about the fabulous life that Jews experienced under Augustine, Abelard, Constantine or the myriad other Catholic leaders who did everything humanly possible to destroy the spirit, soul and physical being of the Jewish people. Or is he talking about the fact that my stepson was verbally attacked in his 2008 Canadian university classroom by a classmate who argued: "We should kill all the Jews because they killed Christ."

Yes siree, that is one heck of a shared bond. Who could possibly be closer than the Jews and the Catholics? Perhaps the Iranian president and the Israelis. Oh wait, I forgot Hitler. Yes, we were possibly closer to Hitler.

Pope Benedict all I can say to you is PLEASE HAVE ALL THOSE PEOPLE WHO WORK FOR YOU IN THE VATICAN DO A REALITY CHECK OF BIBLICAL PROPORTION. Doesn't anyone in the entire Vatican have an ounce of sense? Okay, if they don't have sense, do they have televisions or books or computers? I am not telling you anything that isn't well documented and covered in any number of media.

I am sorry to break this to you Pope B. but you hate the Jews. Not you personally perhaps, but why should you be absolved from that guilt if we Jews are still being penalized for killing Christ? Fair is fair. An eye for an eye. I know the last pope nixed that Jews-killing-Christ thing, but guess what? It didn't catch on so well. Most of the world's 1.13 billion Catholics never got the message.

I also feel obliged to say that I wasn't there when Jesus died and I am pretty sure that neither was any Jew I know. In fact there is lots of academic evidence to suggest that the whole anti-semitism thing was a bait and switch sort of arrangement. The Romans are the ones you should have been murdering, ghetto-izng, terrorizing, torturing, isolating, starving and all-around blaming for the past 2000 years. Of course, that would have been a scary thing to do because at the time of the unfortunate passing of Jesus THE JEW, the Romans were scarier than the Catholic Church turned out to be. Why pick on the real culprit when you could pick on the Jews?

Don't bother answering that. There is no good and legitimate answer.

I think that Jesus himself must have been looking on from heaven above today wondering what the heck you were talking about. He's YOUR lord so you can run from him but you can't hide. According to you, he sees all, which means he must have seen right through your propaganda.

And in case anyone thinks I am making this up, here's a little snippet from the pope's speech today, as reported by The Jerusalem Post:

"The ancient tradition of pilgrimage to the holy places also reminds us of the inseparable bond between the church and the Jewish people," said Benedict. "From the beginning, the church in these lands has commemorated in her liturgy the great figures of the patriarchs and prophets, as a sign of her profound appreciation of the unity of the two testaments."

Pope B. I thought we had agreed last week that you were going to visit your followers in Bethlehem, Nazareth and other such places? Instead you came here under false pretenses and conveniently erased 2000 years of really miserable history.

So Pope B, I apologize, but as your close friend, with inseparable ties to you, I feel I have to tell you that.

My friends Akala and Farid

Something unexpected happened when we renovated our house last year. The contractor hired Arab laborers and over the course of the eight month renovation, we became "friendly" with each other. It was sort of inevitable considering I saw them almost everyday, excluding Jewish and Muslim holidays.

At first I found the whole thing very creepy. I refused to let Chaim leave me alone in the house with them. I am convinced that one guy was always looking up my skirt when I climbed the stairs to the second floor to have a look at the work going on up there. And I still think that some of them viewed me as a pathetic little female who should really go back to the kitchen. But since I had already escaped the kitchen (you know, to go to university for six years), what could they do?

And those same creepy guys liked the times when tensions were running so high that Chaim was yelling like a banshee at me. I think that when Chaim yelled he gained a lot of credibility in their eyes. You know, a Jewish man who could control his wench, just like they did.

(Before I continue I feel compelled to say that some of these Arab men were highly skilled artisans. One of them spoke English as well as I do and he did great work. However, the majority of the guys doing this sort of work were not well educated or sophisticated.)

But over time, things began to change. I got to know many of them by name -- Akala, or Abed as the younger workers called him, was the guy in charge. And Farid was a young guy who did all sorts of the messy jobs. And once you know someone's name, all the rules change.

The moment of truth came when, after the renovation was completed for a few months, I was walking to a friend's house one night and I heard someone call my name. I stopped and looked around, only to see Akala and Farid standing on the corner waiting for me!!! When I caught up to them they both hugged me. (I can only imagine what any passers-by from my neighbourhood would have thought!) And off we all walked down the street until I came to the point where I went one way and they went another. Which, if you think about it, pretty much sums up the whole relationship.