Oh, the hypocrisy of it all. Yesterday I read in the newspaper that Rahm Emanuel, yes, Obama's Chief of Staff who is Jewish but anti-Israel, is in Israel for his son's bar mitzvah. I'm sorry, but for the life of me I can't figure out what his game is.
Let me get this straight. The guy spends his days in Washington finding new and increasingly sly ways to screw the Jewish State yet when it comes time to bar mitzvah his son, he hops on a plane and comes to the exact place that he is trying to shut down for Jews. All I can say is: Why bother? Are you in or are you out? Where, exactly do you stand?
We aren't here for your sporadic pleasure you know. Why don't you bar mitzvah your son in the holy land of Washington?
Rahm Emanuel is an excellent example of why Jews shouldn't hold high-profile offices in other countries. I do not believe that those Jews who do are "good for the Jews". In fact, I think it is the exact opposite: those high-powered Jews in other countries spend most of their time trying to demonstrate that they do NOT have divided loyalties when in fact, they probably do -- or should. Or if they don't, their families do and they are expected to tow the line. It's a no win situation.
When a Jew reaches a position of influence such as chief of staff for the president of the United States, we Jews have expectations that he (or she) will remember where they came from. And of course, that is never the case. If such a person did show any loyalty to their roots the rest of the public would probably go ballastic accusing the high-office achiever of being predictably (fill in the blank here with your favorite ethnic or other diversity group).
Which brings us to Rahm Emanuel. He is living proof of my theory. No matter how hard I try, I just can't think of anything nice to say about him. I would like to say some really bad things about him but my Ad Hoc Legal Committee gets anxious everytime I look like I am headed in that direction. After all, regardless of what a lowlife I think he is, he IS the president of the United States' chief of staff.
And as a result he is proving to be as anti-Israel as his boss -- yet another guy in high office insisting to be supportive of little democratic Israel, but in reality being anything but that.
I read somewhere that Rahm Emanuel volunteered during one of Israel's many recent wars. Clap, clap, clap, clap. Applause. Applause. What does he want? A parade? Well, I am not giving him one because while he may have done the right thing once, when he was finally in a position to do the greatest good, he chose not to.
That's not much of a role model for a bar mitzvah boy.
Monday, May 24, 2010
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Is that three weeks in dog years?
Immediately following Passover 2010, which ended on April 6th, we began work on the landscaping and deck-building in our backyard. We hired all the contractors before the holiday began in full belief that they would finish the work in three to four weeks.
Now, in the off chance that you doubt me, let me tell you that the time frame was theirs -- not mine. When I initially said to the deck guy: "I have a bar mitzvah in June" he just laughed and said: "it only takes a week and a half to two weeks to build a deck and a pergola." And considering his snarky tone when he responded, I couldn't help but doubt my own self-made anxieties.
Well, excuse me for being smarter than I look -- at least on the odd occasion. It is now May 20th and my yard looks like an industrial waste facility. I have an almost completed deck, a partially built pergola, a partially built stream that leaks, and that's about it. Oh, I forgot, I also have tons of partially used wood, electrical wire scraps, leftover coffee cups and lunch wrappers, rubber tubing and old branches lying amidst a pile of very expensive -- yet unused -- wood.
No trees, no beautiful stepping stones, no fancy lights. Zippo.
And on top of all that, my son's bar mitzvah is now is five weeks. Am I in a panic? Oui. Oui grande.
I think that besides the obvious concerns what gets me most is that I am at a loss to explain how people make money in this country. I don't mean the Israeli Wall Street types who go to work in big offices in Tel Aviv, Ramat Gan and Jerusalem every day. But rather the tradesmen who start at 9:00 a.m. (even though they said they would be there at 8:00 a.m), and who take a 10:00 a.m. snack break, have a siesta from 2:00 p.m. to 4:00 p.m. and then work a little until 6:30 p.m. Yes, them.
Maybe it is my Calvanist work ethic -- well, my old Calvanist work ethic -- that is unrealistic in the Middle East. Now I work on the internet at times that suit me but at least when I say I am going to get a job done by a certain date, I actually stick to the plan.
Maybe it's the heat. I couldn't work outside in this kind of weather either but of course, as native born Israelis who are not menopausal, they don't seem to notice the relentless sun.
Maybe they don't need the money. Although they always arrive on time on the days they want money. THEN, they are immediately available and diligent. THEN they have a sense of urgency.
Maybe this is not just an Israeli problem even if I seem to think it is.
Maybe I should just move to a new house and not tell them. Of course, I have to be moved in to my new pad in five weeks.
Now, in the off chance that you doubt me, let me tell you that the time frame was theirs -- not mine. When I initially said to the deck guy: "I have a bar mitzvah in June" he just laughed and said: "it only takes a week and a half to two weeks to build a deck and a pergola." And considering his snarky tone when he responded, I couldn't help but doubt my own self-made anxieties.
Well, excuse me for being smarter than I look -- at least on the odd occasion. It is now May 20th and my yard looks like an industrial waste facility. I have an almost completed deck, a partially built pergola, a partially built stream that leaks, and that's about it. Oh, I forgot, I also have tons of partially used wood, electrical wire scraps, leftover coffee cups and lunch wrappers, rubber tubing and old branches lying amidst a pile of very expensive -- yet unused -- wood.
No trees, no beautiful stepping stones, no fancy lights. Zippo.
And on top of all that, my son's bar mitzvah is now is five weeks. Am I in a panic? Oui. Oui grande.
I think that besides the obvious concerns what gets me most is that I am at a loss to explain how people make money in this country. I don't mean the Israeli Wall Street types who go to work in big offices in Tel Aviv, Ramat Gan and Jerusalem every day. But rather the tradesmen who start at 9:00 a.m. (even though they said they would be there at 8:00 a.m), and who take a 10:00 a.m. snack break, have a siesta from 2:00 p.m. to 4:00 p.m. and then work a little until 6:30 p.m. Yes, them.
Maybe it is my Calvanist work ethic -- well, my old Calvanist work ethic -- that is unrealistic in the Middle East. Now I work on the internet at times that suit me but at least when I say I am going to get a job done by a certain date, I actually stick to the plan.
Maybe it's the heat. I couldn't work outside in this kind of weather either but of course, as native born Israelis who are not menopausal, they don't seem to notice the relentless sun.
Maybe they don't need the money. Although they always arrive on time on the days they want money. THEN, they are immediately available and diligent. THEN they have a sense of urgency.
Maybe this is not just an Israeli problem even if I seem to think it is.
Maybe I should just move to a new house and not tell them. Of course, I have to be moved in to my new pad in five weeks.
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
So much for picking your nose on the street
I just read in the paper that Ra'anana has installed more than 100 surveillance cameras throughout the city to help reduce crime. While I understand that there is good reasons for taking such actions, I couldn't help but think that that is going hinder people's personal freedoms.
A few weeks ago a 13-year-old friend of mine was confronted on a Ra'anana street by a guy who felt the need to expose himself to her. Needless to say, she was upset and unnerved by the expose. I would like to think that I would handle such an incident much better because I am so much older but the truth is, nudity has its place -- but that place in not on the street with strangers. I like to think that if that happened to me, I would laugh in the flasher's face and tell him or her to get lost. Of course, it's easy to have such bravado when it isn't happening to you.
Back to the point. Have the police caught this guy? No. Have they really looked for this guy? I am willing to bet that they have not. Which leads me back to the cameras. Are the police actually going to a) use the information to hunt down criminals and deviants or b) are they simply expecting the cameras to act as a deterrent in their own right? My fear is that the answer is B.
A few years ago another sexual deviant physically attacked a 12-year-old boy in the foyer of his Ra'anana apartment building. Public outrage was high -- at least from the Anglo community. It may have been the same with the Hebrew-speaking community but since I do not follow the hebrew media that carefully, I cannot say with any confidence.
A few weeks later, as I drove by the police station, I noticed a hullaballoo happening outside so I yelled to one of the police officers (this is not unusual behaviour in Israel) to ask whether or not this was the guy who had assaulted the kid. The police officer looked at me as if I was nuts. In an attempt to save face, I then asked him if they were looking for that guy. After another equally vacant stare I realized that I was simply wasting my breath.
Now, on the other hand, if you are a potential terrorist on the run in Israel, the police will get actively involved (along with the army and the Border Police) to hunt you down -- and they will find you. Don't get me wrong ... this is a good thing. A very good thing. But it does not require municipal security cameras. From what I can tell, it does require excellent groundwork and good contacts with a constituency that I am not familiar with. And if it is a potential terrorist on the lose, there is no one I would trust more that the three groups listed above.
However, if some slimeball breaks into your house and steals your valuables, or if someone feels the need to share his or her private parts with you on a city street, you are probably out of luck. And therefore, I think the cameras should go in favour of people having the right to privately pick their noses in public!
A few weeks ago a 13-year-old friend of mine was confronted on a Ra'anana street by a guy who felt the need to expose himself to her. Needless to say, she was upset and unnerved by the expose. I would like to think that I would handle such an incident much better because I am so much older but the truth is, nudity has its place -- but that place in not on the street with strangers. I like to think that if that happened to me, I would laugh in the flasher's face and tell him or her to get lost. Of course, it's easy to have such bravado when it isn't happening to you.
Back to the point. Have the police caught this guy? No. Have they really looked for this guy? I am willing to bet that they have not. Which leads me back to the cameras. Are the police actually going to a) use the information to hunt down criminals and deviants or b) are they simply expecting the cameras to act as a deterrent in their own right? My fear is that the answer is B.
A few years ago another sexual deviant physically attacked a 12-year-old boy in the foyer of his Ra'anana apartment building. Public outrage was high -- at least from the Anglo community. It may have been the same with the Hebrew-speaking community but since I do not follow the hebrew media that carefully, I cannot say with any confidence.
A few weeks later, as I drove by the police station, I noticed a hullaballoo happening outside so I yelled to one of the police officers (this is not unusual behaviour in Israel) to ask whether or not this was the guy who had assaulted the kid. The police officer looked at me as if I was nuts. In an attempt to save face, I then asked him if they were looking for that guy. After another equally vacant stare I realized that I was simply wasting my breath.
Now, on the other hand, if you are a potential terrorist on the run in Israel, the police will get actively involved (along with the army and the Border Police) to hunt you down -- and they will find you. Don't get me wrong ... this is a good thing. A very good thing. But it does not require municipal security cameras. From what I can tell, it does require excellent groundwork and good contacts with a constituency that I am not familiar with. And if it is a potential terrorist on the lose, there is no one I would trust more that the three groups listed above.
However, if some slimeball breaks into your house and steals your valuables, or if someone feels the need to share his or her private parts with you on a city street, you are probably out of luck. And therefore, I think the cameras should go in favour of people having the right to privately pick their noses in public!
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Cleaning for Passover
It's that time of the year again when participating Jews worldwide start the re-enactment of the exodus from Egypt approximately 3460 years ago. (Note: Do not even think about arguing the math with me. I know that there is more than one theory on the exact date but I don't want to discuss that right now. If you are uncomfortable with my calculation, submit your comments to Wikipedia. They will appreciate them -- I do not.)
We've thrown away lots of old and broken junk that was piling up since last year at this time. My kids have cleaned out their closets -- to their satisfaction, not to mine. We are now entering the below-the-surface, deep cleaning segment of the preparation process.
And once again, in the middle of all this over-the-top preparation, I start wondering the same thing that I wondered last year: What the heck does this have to do with the Exodus?
Let me spare you the few seconds you might have pondered the question. The answer is: nothing; zippo; nada.
While I am not a biblical scholar (Ha. Even the thought of that amuses me.)I do know the basics of the Exodus story. Here's the nutshell version: God speaks to Moses. God tells Moses that he has to free the Israelites who are enslaved in Egypt. Moses is reluctant at best. God doesn't care. Moses agrees to try. Aaron, his brother, agrees to assist him. They ask Pharaoh to free the Israelites. Pharaoh says no. Moses demonstrates the power of his backer (God) with a few plagues. Pharaoh is not impressed. Moses tries a few more plagues. Pharaoh is a little more impressed and looks like he is going to agree. However, he does not. Moses goes bigger and gets Pharaoh's attention. Pharaoh agrees under duress.
And here is where things come back to the preparation issue: Knowing that the last of the plagues are really going to upset Pharaoh, Moses tells the Israelites to get ready quickly because they are going to have to make a fast exit. This turns out to be a very accurate statement.
So, my question is, if you are leaving your hovel in a hurry and you don't have much time to prepare, how thorough a cleaning job can you do or would you do? And why would you clean at all? The whole point was that this was supposed to be a one-way journey. The Israelites were not going on vacation for a few weeks. They were leaving Egypt because life for them there was hell. What would be the point of leaving the place neat and tidy (and free of crumbs)? Were they trying to leave it nice for the next set of slaves who were going to inhabit the ghetto?
It doesn't make any sense. And therefore, neither does the overstated cleaning that many of us undertake in the weeks leading up to Passover/Pesach.
Every year I say "next year I am not going to clean like this." And every following year, I do it again ... and issue the same threat for the upcoming year. The irony is that over the course of many years, I too have become an Israelite slave to the cleaning and preparation for the holiday that celebrates Jewish emancipation.
So next year, I am going to free myself! (Well, every slave has a dream.)
We've thrown away lots of old and broken junk that was piling up since last year at this time. My kids have cleaned out their closets -- to their satisfaction, not to mine. We are now entering the below-the-surface, deep cleaning segment of the preparation process.
And once again, in the middle of all this over-the-top preparation, I start wondering the same thing that I wondered last year: What the heck does this have to do with the Exodus?
Let me spare you the few seconds you might have pondered the question. The answer is: nothing; zippo; nada.
While I am not a biblical scholar (Ha. Even the thought of that amuses me.)I do know the basics of the Exodus story. Here's the nutshell version: God speaks to Moses. God tells Moses that he has to free the Israelites who are enslaved in Egypt. Moses is reluctant at best. God doesn't care. Moses agrees to try. Aaron, his brother, agrees to assist him. They ask Pharaoh to free the Israelites. Pharaoh says no. Moses demonstrates the power of his backer (God) with a few plagues. Pharaoh is not impressed. Moses tries a few more plagues. Pharaoh is a little more impressed and looks like he is going to agree. However, he does not. Moses goes bigger and gets Pharaoh's attention. Pharaoh agrees under duress.
And here is where things come back to the preparation issue: Knowing that the last of the plagues are really going to upset Pharaoh, Moses tells the Israelites to get ready quickly because they are going to have to make a fast exit. This turns out to be a very accurate statement.
So, my question is, if you are leaving your hovel in a hurry and you don't have much time to prepare, how thorough a cleaning job can you do or would you do? And why would you clean at all? The whole point was that this was supposed to be a one-way journey. The Israelites were not going on vacation for a few weeks. They were leaving Egypt because life for them there was hell. What would be the point of leaving the place neat and tidy (and free of crumbs)? Were they trying to leave it nice for the next set of slaves who were going to inhabit the ghetto?
It doesn't make any sense. And therefore, neither does the overstated cleaning that many of us undertake in the weeks leading up to Passover/Pesach.
Every year I say "next year I am not going to clean like this." And every following year, I do it again ... and issue the same threat for the upcoming year. The irony is that over the course of many years, I too have become an Israelite slave to the cleaning and preparation for the holiday that celebrates Jewish emancipation.
So next year, I am going to free myself! (Well, every slave has a dream.)
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Does anyone else see the ridiculousness of this anti-Israel position?
This well-know graphic was just used as part of an Israel Apartheid Week campaign -- by the Anti-Israel supporters. Correct me if I'm wrong, but this graphic makes precisely the opposite point as far as I can tell. Could someone please tell me if I am going crazy or if it is the world that's losing its mind.
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