So do you prefer living in Israel?

I bumped into one of my Canadian friends on the street today. He looked totally exasperated so, as I approached, I said: "what's up?"

He told me that he had just returned from Canada and that while he was there he hadn't had even one little problem. But now that he was back in Israel ... he didn't finish the sentence. He just threw his arms up in the air, shook his head and rolled his eyes. That was the three-pronged expression of total frustration of life in the State of Israel.

We talked for a few minutes about the pros and cons of living in Israel versus Toronto in a way that we never could if either one of us still lived in Canada (Or more specifically, Toronto). It's an unwritten rule but Jews living outside of Israel are not looked upon kindly when they assess the benefits of one location over the other. We may smile while they discuss it, but inside we are giving them the major finger gag motion.

And then the non-Israeli Jews ultimately say something stupid that just makes us want to barf even more. My personal favorite: "living in Ra'anana isn't really living in Israel." Oh thanks for that stupid, unsupportable factoid. Funny how my Israeli passport suggests otherwise. And by the way, if Ra'anana isn't in Israel, where precisely is it then? I think what those people are really trying to say -- and doing a lousy job of it -- is that the quality of life in Ra'anana and other cities and towns in Israel with a significant Anglo populations, is very very good. Inexplicably good for Israel.

I also think that people who say things like that are just trying to make themselves feel better about the fact that they don't live here in "fake" Israel. Self justification is an old trick in the Neurotic Jews Handbook.

Here's another favorite: "Oh, I would never live in Israel because you become less observant when you do." And another one: "I guess you couldn't afford day school in Canada so you decided to move."

I am not going to rebut these stupid comments here because I do not feel that they deserve my time and attention. However, I will simply say to those people: Yeah, sure, whatever.

So back to the question of whether or not moving to Israel, and leaving our cozy Canadian lives, was worth its while. The truth is that it is not a simple yes or no.

The weather in Israel is definitely better for at least nine months of the year, but that's not a reason to pack up one's life and schlep to the Middle East.

The more complete answer goes something like this. If you can avoid dealing with officialdom in any way, shape or form, and if you can either speak a decent hebrew or manage in your crappy hebrew, and if you prefer to live a more full and active life, and if you want to give your children a sense of freedom that does not exist in Toronto, and if you want to be part of something bigger than yourself, and if you only want to eat fruit and vegetables that are in season, and if you like to go to the beach in January, then Israel is the place to be.

However, if you love talking to government officials on the phone, and if you like filling out forms, and if you like shoveling snow, and if you like to understand the precise answers to questions you asked and the reasons for those answers, and if you aren't picky about the authenticity of the taste of your fruits and vegetables, and if you want a quiet, low-key life, and if you need to go to Walmart every week, and if you like driving your kids here and there, and if you need to be somewhere where people line-up properly and take turns nicely, then Toronto is much better for you.

In other words, this is a very full and purposeful life -- for me. I used to think that every Jewish person should be here. I don't think that anymore. I think that things are exactly as they should be -- the people who belong here are here. And those who don't belong here, are not here -- and shouldn't be here. They would not benefit from what the country has to offer and the country would not benefit from having them here. Israel does not need any more lukewarm Jews within its tiny borders. Israel needs people who want to live here whether they can explain their reasons or not.

In other words, shake your hands in the air and roll your eyes. Rationalize any which way you want. There's no one final answer.