I've solved the Jew killing problem

I think I have come up with a solution for all those people out there that want to kill a Jew. It's brilliant and I can't believe it took me this long to figure it out.

Last year, on a nice sunny Spring day, the Israeli papers blew the lid off one of the most disgusting stories I have ever read. It was about a group of extremist Jews right here in Israel, lead by a deranged "rabbi", who were abusing children among other things.

The details provided in the Jerusalem Post were so sickening that I refuse to let my mind wander back there. Even now, when I read about "Rabbi" Elior Chen's capture in Brazil and hopeful extradition to Israel, I cannot help but feel ill when I see his photograph posted in the body copy of the article.

I am not even sure if this guy is a rabbi because I noticed today that the Post is using quotation marks around his title. What I do know is that he definitely doesn't meet my criteria for a rabbi.

For those who don't know the story, here is a brief overview. People in a haredi (read: extremist) Jerusalem neighbourhood contacted police because of strange goings on there. A woman was arrested for severely abusing her children. It later became public knowledge that she burned them; she made them eat feces; she gave them alcohol to drink until they vomited; she hit them with hammers; she locked them up in suitcases. I think you get the idea.

Once in police custody she claimed that she did this under the instruction and guidance of one "Rabbi Elior Chen" who taught her this as a means to discipline her children. He promptly fled to Canada (already known as a great place to hide if you are an old Nazi, according to 60 Minutes, so why not a despicable-beyond-words Jew?)

Problem was that Canada and Israel have an extradition treaty so scumbag Chen had to hit the road again. This time he went to Brazil because it does not have such a treaty with Israel. Israel knew for a while that he was there but without such a treaty the Israelis couldn't just show up and nab him.

I am sure the Brazilians weren't exactly thrilled to have him either. They arrested him to keep him away from other innocent children.

So here we are a year after he arrived in Brazil and he is about to be extradited to Israel.

However, I have a better plan. Heaven knows that we don’t want him here. And I am willing to bet that the Brazilians want him out of their country. And I doubt there are any takers in any parts of the Western world. So, how about we give him to some of those crazed lunatics that want to kill Jews?

They don't care what Jew they kill. We don't care one iota about the life of child-abuser Chen. As far as I can tell, it's a win-win situation. Everyone would go home happy and perhaps that would save the life of an innocent person somewhere else.

I know my suggestion sounds rather cruel, but what Chen did to those children was more than a little cruel. And these are extenuating circumstances. Chen is not your average bad guy. He is a child-harming, super bad guy. My plan works for me. And unless you have a better suggestion … I am submitting this to the Israeli court system.

(Late-dated addendum: Okay, now two of my lawyer friends have called to say that I cannot suggest that someone should be killed for any reason whatsoever. Therefore, let me add that first, Elior Chen has to be found guilty and they better find a really suitable punishment for him. And second, under no circumstance am I suggesting that someone take up the cause. It would solve many problems for many people but I am not a judge or jury. Too bad. So ... lawyers, are you more comfortable now?)